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Real, Live, Non-Famous People Quotes
"How the hell do I, of all people, keep ending up as the Voice of Reason? I hold long, involved conversations with myself. I don't think that's a very good qualification."
--Cel
"What does a sponge do? Great sponge stuff."
--Mr. Fairman
"How do you make a cube out of first graders?"
--Nathalie
"Now what if we put 64 people in a big glass cube?"
--Mr. Newberry
"They aren't going to be playing tee ball in the Olympics!"
--Geoff
"You know what I need?"
"Sex?"
--Lizzy and Lauren
"I'm going to change to degrees and have Joe be quiet."
--Mrs Helgeson
"You mean it adapted itself to the flyswatter?"
--?? (in Sara's English notes)
"Madame Defarge - she is PSY-CHO!"
--Mrs Wolfe
"It's a Greek Jerry Springer!"
--Sara's English NOtes
"I'd take it all off for him!"
--Lisa
"Does the word OBSESSION mean anything to you?"
--Cel
"How about - I am obsessively-compulsively in love with you and I've
been stalking you all semester. Love, Rachel?"
"He already knows that."
--Sara and Rachel
"Who really does care what the log bas 12 of 72 is?"
--Kathy
"At 26 and married, he's completely unattainable but....OH MY GOD!!!!"
--Kat
"I think everyone is in love with Sean Connery at some point in their lives."
--Spiffy
"Wait a minute. I had this thing about taller men being good, and I didn't I swear I would never date a band person? My boyfriend is a whole 2 inches taller than me and the fucking field commander!"
--Sara
"Yeah, Sara's in our non-existent band."
--Mariel
"Belgian whores?"
--Phil
"I'm Aghanistani!"
--Mariel
"If you dropped a belt on the world, you'd smash a lot of people."
--Nathalie
"Well, you already shredded up her book and threw it in the lake."
--Phil
"GET OFF MY MEAT!!"
"That's not something you hear everyday."
--Karen and Brian
"Go to Kansas, nobody goes to Kansas."
--Michael
"Sex and butter."
--several
"I'm gonna stand up here and look cool with you."
"You're in band pants."
--Sara and Lisa
"This look cool?"
"You're in a band jacket."
--Sara and Lisa
"Nick hug!"
--Brian
"Hand check!"
--Nick
"Holy fruitcakes!"
--Danny
"Dude. He gave you a rock."
--Jeff
"Unlike real life, which is completely random..."
--Mrs. Wolfe
"Sara's bisexual."
"How many girls have you had sex with."
"None."
"Well, it doesn't count then."
"I haven't had sex with any guys either,
does that mean I'm not straight?"
--Mariel, Ken, and Sara
"Chris is whole wheat, Avonte is rye, and I'm Wonderbread!"
--Mike
"Can somebody turn off the drums?"
--Jenna
"This makes no sense. 'The future of the human species holds many -' OH!"
--Hannah
"Good to know my lap is useul for something."
--Sara
"Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 dollars."
--Sara
"Everyone else would have birds but I would have a little flying monkey."
--Mariel
"Did you know you're dating a bunny?"
--Nick
"How far does Oklahoma City travel in a day?"
--Mrs. Helgeson
"All I really care about is your name."
--Mrs. Helgeson
"That could be a slug."
--Michele
"I'm thinking about windows."
--Erin
"There's a special name for this kind of problem, anybody know
it?"
"It's hard."
--Mrs. H and Jessie
"I lose the weather."
--Sara
"I waste the weather?"
--Michele
"Can I drop an American?"
--Mrs. Lindgren
"It kind of defeats the Diet if you have six of them."
--Liv
"Brain fart of the century."
--Lisa, on putting her timpanis backwards
"Oh, and by the way - I'm not gay."
--Eric
"I WANT TO PLAY SUSAN!!"
--Evan
"My parents are going to rip my heart out and use it to cook dinner."
--Daniel
"If you don't know what you want to get, experiment until you get what you want."
--Sara
"I like eggs."
--Molly
"Q-U-I-E-T spells Not Loud."
--Mike M
"If you're gonna be a self-absorbed, lying asshole, I don't care. Just take it somewhere else."
--Sara (this does have a point)
"Now, now. Let's not be bitter."
--Mr. Stover
"Remind me to buy you duct tape."
--Chris
"MY MR. GOODBAR!!"
--Lisa
"So what's with you and Brian?"
"Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Positive?"
"I think I would know."
--Sean and Sara
"Contrary to our collective human ego, sometimes things do happen for no reason whatsoever."
--Megan
"Go have fun with your Make-Your-Own Dante's Inferno kit."
--Colin
"I am Satan and Lisa is my answering machine."
--Sara
"What are you going to do if you grow up?"
--Mr. Johnstone
"Mr. Stover, Danny's talking again!"
--Jeff
"You're a sexy slut, Jamie."
"No I'm not. I'm a whore!"
--Evan and Jamie
"Boys are stupid."
--Jenna
"I am a green bean!"
--Mariel
"I alway have some sort of situation. It's not fair."
--Mariel
"How can this room be cold with all these people talking and all this hot air coming out? Please be quiet."
--Mrs Lindgren
"Doesn't that mean cockroach?"
"Spoon?"
--Erin and Kate
"Sorry, I wouldn't know. I'm not into livestock."
--Paul
"What would happen if a snake had legs? Wait, no. Then it would be an iguana."
--Christine
"Lizard! Actually, no, that's a caterpillar."
--Sara
"There'd probably be nothing because a snake wouldn't have
legs."
"But what if it did?"
--Jen and Christine
"What if a snake and a lizard mated?"
--Tiffany
"Are you sure sure?"
"Yes I'm sure sure."
"Okay, Okay."
--Christine and Jen
"Eeep."
--Jen
"No, then it would be a newt."
--Christine
"I like duck sauce!"
--Emily
"I feel minty fresh now!!"
--Cel
"Eric's acting like a girl with a crush."
--Emily
"Just remember, if you handcuff me, I can still bite your nose off!"
--Cel
"I don't like almonds!"
"I want hummus!"
--Sara and Cel
"Hey! That's my paint roller!"
--Sara's mom
"Wait. I'm right handed."
--Cel (after shooting left-handed)
"Aha! The evil monkey. That was on our project."
--Eric
"I practiced Cel today...played her like a flute."
--Eric
"Hydrogen gas - do a little test and it'll explode."
--Mr. Husting
"Right before I die, I'll think 'Hey! Bromine 2!'"
--Mr. H
"Sometimes one plus one doesn't always equal two."
--Mr. H
"I have all these people going to their lockers and a net gain of ONE Oedipus book."
--Mrs. Wolfe
"Avacado is a sex food?"
--Sara
"Start 8 before 6."
"That would be negative 2!"
--Mr Langhorst and Mike J
"Let me hear snares and pit at 37."
"We don't have anything at 37."
"Yeah, but we play at 38!"
--Mr Stover, Chris, and Danny
"So, was that a real kid?"
"No, it was a fake kid."
--Mark and Erica
"You know I would drop everything and go to Mexico with you if you so desired."
--Mariel
"Mariel, you wanna go to Mexico?"
--Sara (later, the same day as above)
"Okay Lee, there's a reason you're not in choir."
"Shut up, Jessie. You have long hair."
--Jessie and Lee
"Did you know they make chile flavoured Ramen noodles?"
--Joe
"Did you know that Michigan has the world's second largest menorah?"
--Cel
"Is Mexico connected to Spain?"
--Jenny
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